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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member goingskywardFemale/United States Groups :iconletyoursecretsbetold: #LetYourSecretsBeTold
 
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~goingskyward
zoe
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
hello there, weary traveler!

my name is zoe, and the only thing on this page is really crappy art im gomen

i quite enjoy art even though i'm not that fantastic at it but i always aim for improvement ; v ; polite constructive criticism is always welcome!

most of my gallery is homestuck, as that is the thing i enjoy most right now! however i also post trauma team, pokemon, and the legend of zelda, just not as often! :] i hope you enjoy my art and writing, because while i don't seem to think both are very good the feedback you guys give me is incredible so i pretty much draw and/or write because you guys are so perfect and wow i just love you all????? thanks for sticking with me you guys have made my time on this site just one big party (smooches)

amazing people that you should love forever :heart:
:iconharajukucookie::iconkenekochan01::iconemmaaaargh::iconkurloz-makara::iconlawlietloveslight::iconprecision-incision::iconhotshotsgirl101::iconkaneriya::iconneverstopswatching:

ask account: :iconrosalia-rossellini:
Interests
or something like that.

i'd like to start out first with my health because i realize some of you are worried about my mental status at the moment.

some of you may or may not know that i have a cutting problem. it really started out as nothing too bad, just small pink marks made by razors. however, around november of last year it began to get really bad.

i felt slightly depressed. i thought it was just a hormonal thing, transitioning into being a teenager and all that crap.

however, about a month ago it started getting really bad. i was cutting deeper, wearing hoodies even in 70 degree weather just because the scars looked terrible and no amount of makeup could cover them up. and on the days when i had to walk around with my bare forearms, i got weird stares and was confronted by multiple people about it. cat scratches, i told them.

i began withdrawing from my group dramatically. listening to my music all the time, and when i was inclined to talk to people i would stand back in the shadows, not able to say anything. its still a problem now, i dont know why i cant ever talk around them anymore. all i wanted was to go home and pull the pocketknife that a friend once gave me out from under a pile of clothing, or a drawer, or out from under my bed, and shred my arms. again and again and again.

even now i still get those urges.

i was pulled into the councelors office multiple times because my friends began coming to her about my problem. that just made it worse, knowing that im a bother on her as well as all of my friends.

i got a councelor. i got help. up until this recent thursday my parents didnt know i cut. telling my little sister was the hardest thing. i cant look her in the eyes now. no matter where i go, all i feel is my family's eyes on my arms. i have pledged many people i wont do it anymore, but i cant make promises like that. theres always a voice in the back of my head that literally just talks to me about suicide. finish your dinner, then grab the bottle of tylenol and down the entire thing. shower and cut yourself deeper than ever before. get up, early in the morning, like you always do, and make that noose you so desperately daydream about.

all i want to do is die. my councelors have both said this is way more than just "being a teenager", and that the way i think isnt healthy. its chemical, an imbalance in my brain.

im seeing a doctor this wednesday so he can prescribe me antidepressants, if he sees fit. im scared. i dont want to tell anyone, but i'm very scared.

i just dont want to live anymore, and no amount of prozac is going to change that.

theres a handful of people that really keep me going, rianna, nathan, claire, i could go on;;;; you all probably think im a depressed freak. and you have every right to. but im really trying to get better for all of you (but one in particular. they'll know who they are.) thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

ive had a lot of fun on this website. ive met some really great people, and i'll always love every one of you. i just hope you'll remember me if it ever gets to the point where suicide is my only option.

remember me, please.
  • Mood: Depressed

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Comments


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:iconarisamg:
~ArisaMG Apr 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav!
Reply
:iconscalematejudge:
~ScalemateJudge Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much for the watch! : D
Reply
:icongoingskyward:
~goingskyward Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's no problem! Your art is fantastic :'D Thank you for watching back!
Reply
:icon3nica3:
~3Nica3 Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
Zoe~
What's up?
((sorry if I didn't get to talk to you anymore... really busy being a 7th grader..))

//needslehug
Reply
:icongoingskyward:
~goingskyward Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*hugs the absolute crap out of you*

hey! omg i missed talking to you!<3

i don't blame you, 7th grade is really draining, i know >_____<
Reply
:icon3nica3:
~3Nica3 Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
IKR!

I missed talking to you!!!
You're my bestfriend here at DA after all!!
:blowkiss:
Reply
:icongoingskyward:
~goingskyward Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
omg you're so sweet thank you lots friend > v < whats new?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsakuraangeladdiction:
~SakuraAngelAddiction Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
hey! whats up?
Reply
:iconkenekochan01:
hey girly, since I know you love me so much do you want to buy me all of the band merch I want? ;D

Jk But i really do want like 5 Sleeping With Sirens shirts...
Reply
:icongoingskyward:
~goingskyward Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
god yes i'll be sure to
*i'd literally sell my legs to buy you those shirts babs*
Reply
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